A Life Worth Living

John Clayton Stansberry, Jr.

March 3, 1950 - February 17, 2015

I have been pondering how I could blog about the loss of my father-in-law after his decade-long battle with Alzheimer's Disease, what I could say that would do justice to his life and legacy, and when I could muster the courage to write something.  The obituary, a group-effort of writing/laughing/crying/editing/early morning texts about things we forgot in the first draft says it best.  

John Clayton Stansberry, Jr. passed away peacefully on Tuesday, February 17, 2015 surrounded by his family.  John was born March 3, 1950 in Clinton, Iowa to John, Sr. and Ruth (Volckmann) Stansberry.  He attended Clinton High School, graduating in 1968.  John then enrolled in Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa and met the love of his life, Peggy Marquardt, the first day of classes.  John and Peggy married on August 22, 1970 in Ralston, Nebraska.  They had two sons who were the pride of his life: John Clayton III in 1975 and Michael Andrew in 1978.  John earned his Bachelor of Music Education degree from Drake University in 1972.  Upon graduation, he accepted a position at Kogarah High School in Sydney, Australia where he and Peggy lived and traveled for two years.  While in Australia, John directed the Sydney Concert Band becoming the first American to conduct in the Sydney Opera House.

After returning from Australia, John earned his Master of Music degree in oboe performance from Michigan State University.  From 1976 to 1981, he was the Assistant Director of Bands at the University of North Texas.  John served as the Director of Bands at Texas State University (formerly Southwest Texas State University) from 1981 through 2006, receiving the distinction of Professor Emeritus in 2008.  Under his direction at Texas State, his bands performed at regional and national music conventions, as well as in a major Hollywood film.  John published several articles and reviews in professional music periodicals in the United States and Australia.  He served as a clinician and adjudicator throughout the state and around the nation. He leaves a legacy of band directors who continue to spread his enthusiasm for music.

John had many passions in life.  He loved teaching and conducting, fried shrimp and Mexican food, boogie boarding and walks on the beach, long rides on his bicycle, and cards with friends.  But most importantly, he loved his family.  He had an infectious spirit that touched and inspired all those around him, even in his final years battling Alzheimer’s.

John is preceded in death by his parents, John, Sr. and Ruth Stansberry and his father-in-law, Emery Marquardt.  John is survived by his wife of forty-four years, Peggy; son Clay and wife, Sabina; son Michael and wife, Lindsay; granddaughters Kasia and Grace, and grandsons Cole and Tate, respectively; sisters, Patricia (Denny) Woods and Carol (Dave) Petersen; mother-in-law and father-in-law, Geraline and Donald Schut; brothers-in-law, Steve (Bernie) Marquardt, Dean (Sue) Marquardt and Jim (Wendy) Marquardt; numerous nieces and nephews; and countless friends and students who are considered family. John was an active member of First Lutheran Church of San Marcos where he served on church council.  John was 64 years young.

The family extends its sincere gratitude to Hays Nursing Center, CTMC Hospice, and all the loving, dedicated nurses and aides that assisted in John’s daily care.

Visitation will be held at Pennington Funeral Home in San Marcos, Texas on Friday, February 20, 2015 from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.  A Celebration of Life service will be held on Saturday, February 21, 2015 at 11:00 a.m. at First Lutheran Church of San Marcos.  In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorials be made to First Lutheran Church of San Marcos, CTMC Hospice, or the Alzheimer’s Association.

John was diagnosed not too long after Mike and I were married, and was showing symptoms months earlier. I regret I didn't have the chance to know him better, to know him before the disease, but I choose to remember the good things, the good times, and the bond without the struggle of the disease.  I remember dancing with him on my wedding day, him telling me he loved me like his own daughter, him holding Cole (uneasily) for the first time, smiling at Tate for the first time, and always, always wanting to be with Peggy. He was a wonderful father-in-law, a fighter, a cancer survivor, a smiling grandfather, and a devoted husband.

He leaves behind an amazing legacy: Band Directors across the state and around the country, four grandchildren, two daughters-in-law, two sons, and a loving wife.  The disease is ugly, but John rose above it. 

Cole read the perfect verse at the Memorial Service this weekend, and I sobbed as he did so, followed by my own husband's remarks, on the day we finally had to say goodbye.  No more suffering, but a hole still in each of our lives.

2 Timothy 4: 6b-8

"...the time of my departure has come.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  From now on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

What the heart has once known, it will never forget.